Confessions of a Rockin mom #19: Fear of breaking the news

 We didn’t announce the fact that Everett was diagnosed with Trisomy21 until he was about a year old. We told friends & family, but we let our social media peeps figure it out for themselves over time. I believe I made it FB official 2 years ago during DS Awareness month when I posted a series of facts about Down syndrome. There is a very good reason why we did this. Because Everett got a birth diagnosis, we didn’t have time to prepare how we would “break the news” to others. We were still trying to figure out how to “break the news” to ourselves. And I’ll have to confess, the few people we told responded in ways that really upset us. The worst was when a friend told me they already knew because Everett’s characteristics were obvious in the newborn photos I posted. This crushed me. No one wants to have anyone, let alone a friend, point out characteristics that make your child stand out. We also got a lot of “I’m sorry” reactions. We didn’t think Everett was something to be sorry about, so that hurt our feelings too. We became very fearful of how people would respond to the news of Everett’s diagnosis, so we stopped telling people and let them eventually figure it out for themselves. This fear, unfortunately, was very warranted. If you are reading this post and know of someone who recently had a baby diagnosed with Down syndrome, please be thoughtful in how you respond to that news. Words are very powerful and can be very hurtful to someone else when not selected carefully. And maybe Everett does have some obvious characteristics of DS. But who cares…he’s an adorable child who is worthy of celebration. Not “I’m sorry.”